This is a new section of Sports Coats Aren’t for Sports which I would like to think is where the handkerchief would go; mostly because this is where I want to boogie. DO YOU SEE WHAT I DID THERE?!!?
Back to my original task this is gonna be where I put certain fools ‘on blast’ ending every week on Saturday. I will post on Sundays who I think the biggest culprit of shitting the bed was during the week which when football season comes around will be nice for all you fantasy jockeys (note to self never think it’s harmless to google image search that again). Personally I still live in the fantasy world where Atreyu triumphs over evil and not Hot Topic, mall metal, insert cliche fat goth girl joke here and Jack Black was bullying around Sebastian instead of really flying around on a mystical white dragon (i.e. cocaine).
So tune in Sunday because you never know your favorite player or hard core player (Richard Jefferson – Big Fuckin’ Ups for dumping your fiancee two hours before the wedding, throw out some knucks my fellow sports coat wearers) may just make it to The Hangover 2 – Sundays Spent in my Bed wishing I were not alive. Who is the weakest link and who’s getting up in the middle of the night to sleep on the couch so their girlfriend thinks they pissed the bed? The world will know SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY
7-6-09- The entire Mets Organization from Tony Bernazard to Jeff Francouer who lost two out of three to the Nationals, officially went fetal, and challenged its players to a Battle Royale rather than to win (interesting tactic), all of which can be summed up in:
7-19-09- For only the second time in his career Tiger Woods missed the cut on a final which is exactly three less times than I’ve missed the cut on a total hottie blowing me.
8-9-09- I don’t know because Josh Hamilton falling off the wagon is a double edged sword. I’m always happy to hear someone is drinking because then I don’t feel alone, but his struggle has been arduous. So with that said I’m going to have to go with David Ortiz because he did steroids and apparently the only one who doesn’t know this is Ortiz himself. Who is he trying to be Gary Sheffield when he trained with Barry Bonds?
8-16-09- It’s gotta go to G.I. Joe. I paid to see Pootie Tang (coincidentally the first time I ever got intoxicated) and I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and G.I. Joe is the abortion of a movie I am not proud to say was the worst I ever paid money to see. The acting was horrendous and the CGI was even worse. They were like the Kansas City Royals mailing it in after June 3rd. Dennis Quaid, who by all means, has taken a gnarly Nic Cage turn his career completely destroyed is credentials by not being anywhere near able to dig up the grave of this movie and steal its jewelry. DO NOT ADD to the box office gross because after I saw this I was irate at the fact that I had done so. This movie deserves what Donte Stallworth should have got in prison.
